I've written a lot about it, so I won't rehash the challenge of the past three months...
I really haven't written much, because I didn't have much to say that hadn't been said. I loathe sounding redundant and whiny.
I felt God asking me to wait. Silently.
Waiting is hard.
But slowly, I find myself sneaking glimpses of new purpose...
- Renewed vision for what it means to parent at this stage in my life.
- New responsibilities and challenges at work.
- New relationships and new roles in old relationships - dear people God is bringing me to love and nurture and pour into.
I'm pondering and dreaming and anticipating - all of which are infinitely better than lamenting and feeling lost. Hope is an amazing, powerful thing.
There is an air of excitement and a posture of looking forward in this place... as Asia gets terribly, wonderfully close to finally being a full-time marriage and family therapist and the older kids embark on a new school adventure and I begin stepping into a promotion at work... how provocative new-ness can be! I'm heady with the anticipation of how we'll all settle into this new, energetic, vision-driven, purposeful reality.
I'm thankful for friends who have encouraged and loved me through the worst of my feeling lost... whose words of truth kept me steady.
I'm forever grateful for a husband who is patient far beyond his own understanding and who gently and wisely reminds me of God's promises.
I'm blessed by children whose observations skills and sensitivity go WAY beyond their years and who subtly found ways to rise to the occasion and love their somewhat crazy mom in tangible, concrete ways. They're pretty amazing.
I'm blown away (again) by God's goodness to me...
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He gives me time to catch my breath and then faithfully, gently leads me on the right path. How well I am cared for... praise Jesus.